Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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