I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
