Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Randomize
