he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
