I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
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