he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Randomize