she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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