i don't like sucking hair
I cockslap morals
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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