I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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