he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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