I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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