He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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