She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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