i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Randomize
