that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
