so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
