Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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