Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
