I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
