How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
We need to rekindle our bromance
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
