Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
