Grow some girl-balls and come out already
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
