I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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