I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
