Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
