Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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