Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
