Who did Billy Mays play for?
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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