she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
