god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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