It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
