Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I think i peed on brittanys purse
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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