Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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