Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
