I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
