I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
that's an acceptable place to lick
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
