she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
