Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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