Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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