Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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