I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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