if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
