So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
