is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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