I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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