I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
