fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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