I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
