whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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