question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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