Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
