I have demons in me.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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