I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
