So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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