sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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