So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
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