Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Randomize
